Finding Resilience When All the Other Shoes Drop
There’s an incredible scene in Wonder Woman from 2017, starring Gal Gadot, where Diana (AKA Wonder Woman) crosses a reimagined World War I “No Man’s Land” all on her own, with nothing but her cuffs and shield to protect her. The onslaught of bullets, bombs and air-fire from all directions is so overwhelming that every time I watch that scene, I burst into tears. Because I’ve been there, more than once. As I’m sure have many of you. Last week was one of those times for me. And for President Biden. My heart and empathy went out to him as ISIS-K suicide-bombers attacked Kabul airport in Afghanistan while Americans, our allies and our adversaries all criticized him for every attempt to do the right thing, pronouncing him a failure on all fronts for trying to remove us and our Allied Forces from 20 years of disastrous wars in the Middle East that were actually brought on by the missteps of earlier administrations. As was the decision to withdraw this time.
While my week didn’t involve guns, bombs, maneuvering troops, or rapid evacuation of civilians, it did involve packing my life, clothing, art, and furniture into 25 boxes piled to the walls and ceiling of my bedroom on Wednesday followed by more torrential rains and ConEd once again ripping up my sidewalk and street on Thursday and Friday, while I was trying to sign contracts and agreements with a new management company that would more conscientiously look after my building after I move. Followed by the defroster in my fridge kicking the bucket at 5am on Saturday morning, waking me with its incessant beep of death.
It was almost enough to drive me to despair. Or at least cry uncontrollably from exhaustion. When all I was trying to do was keep moving forward while doing as much of the right thing for everyone else that I could. But neither Defeat nor Despair is something I choose to contemplate now or ever. Because I am Resilient, and I always have been, even when completely alone and abandoned by those who claim commitment. In my mind there’s always an alternative way and strategy back to achieving what my goal is. And we all have what we need built into us to get us there. Even when we think we don’t.
That belief in myself and my own resilience and capacity to heal (scar-tissue included) has never failed me, regardless of a child and adulthood filled with loss, abandonment and abuse followed by 2 rounds with cancer. But resilience isn’t really something you can learn voluntarily, like management skills. It’s a gift that is learned through crisis and force. It knocks you to your knees against your will, like a bully, and offers you the choice to either get up again to fight for yourself, or stay down and give up. Either way, you’re guaranteed to keep getting hit. And I always choose to get back up and fight. Because I believe I and my life are worth it. And at least if I get back up, my resilience proves stronger, and I have another chance of getting back on track to my end goals.
So, as you move forward with your week and life, when all the shoes start dropping, and the world seems against you, I’d ask that you consider the gift and the choice of Resilience over Defeat, Resignation, and Despair. And I promise there’s always another way.
Holly Lynch is a 20+ year communications veteran and life-long social impact advocate and strategist who has helped individuals, educational leaders, and companies tackle the toughest challenges in their worlds.
Having survived countless life setbacks and two rounds with terminal cancer, while seeing the country-wide collapse of the systems and safety nets for the most vulnerable in and outside our communities, she is now shifting her life and career trajectories to focus on coaching those facing down fundamental shifts and transitions as they try to navigate and rebuild their lives, institutions and businesses during these unprecedented times.