In Search of Gratitude
I don’t know about you, but this year I’m having a hard time finding gratitude in my life. Which is a new and very uncomfortable feeling. Throughout my life, I’ve seized every challenge -- whether losing a job, or friends, or a partner or the support of my family or even my health to cancer -- as yet another wall to scale or storm to weather. A chance to learn something new about myself and my capacity to not just survive, but grow, endure, support others, develop a new skill even, like packing wounds (no joke). I’d “figure it out” just as I’d always done, on my own. And more likely than not, I would have to do it on my own.
And I’ve been GRATEFUL for my undying resilience in the face of the impossible.
But this year it just got to be too much. After almost ten years of really STRUGGLING to stay healthy, in the face of being metastatic; to keep positive in the world of Trump and all the hate and vitriol surrounding me and the world; to stay sane while completely isolated in my own house, and mind during so many days and months of Covid lock-down. And to be patient with myself and failed career and job attempts, like running for office, I just really needed a break. I needed to stop having to say to myself, “I’ll figure it out” to “we’ll figure it out, or even “you’ll figure it out for me. And to feel grateful that there was something or someone to share the burden with.
But 2021 didn’t turn out that way for me. I spent much of this year in zoom rooms. like my 6-month coaching course and “quarantinis” with friends around the world, alone in my room. Or trying to get rid of all my furnishings and clothing, on my own, so I could finally leave New York behind and start a new life in a more supportive and intimate environment… Except that life hasn’t turned out to be as supportive and reliable as I’d trusted and hoped for. That my future wasn’t any clearer or my home or road any more stable
This past weekend, the sense of being completely lost, unproductive and all alone, got so bad, I started venting at probably the only person I CAN rely on, Nnamdi Okike, and who has been there with me throughout much of the last 10 years. And he, justifiably shot me down. Why was I “looking for gratitude”, when WHO I AM gives, attracts and inspires other people with gratitude. Gratitude that I never give up. That I’m always trying. That I struggle out loud. That I’m always there for them, and hold myself accountable, even if they aren’t for me. And that my door is always open to share more.
And I realized I was looking for something outside myself, to “have gratitude for”. Like an accessory. When in fact, “who I am” and everything I exude and embody is Gratitude.
So, this Thanksgiving and holiday season, I’d like you to reflect not on what you’re grateful for but how you embody the gratitude and gift of you for yourself and others.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Holly Lynch is a 20+ year communications veteran and life-long social impact advocate and strategist who has helped individuals, educational leaders, and companies tackle the toughest challenges in their worlds.
Having survived countless life setbacks and two rounds with terminal cancer, while seeing the country-wide collapse of the systems and safety nets for the most vulnerable in and outside our communities, she is now shifting her life and career trajectories to focus on coaching those facing down fundamental shifts and transitions as they try to navigate and rebuild their lives, institutions and businesses during these unprecedented times.