Protecting Privacy
“A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”
The same is true of nonfiction, or even breathing or being able to make her own decisions and way in the world. But day after day, I’m seeing those fundamental rights disappear for women.
I rarely speak out about gender and women’s rights, because I grew up in what one might call a privileged New York City bubble. Or at least that’s usually what people assume when I open my mouth. I don’t have a “New York” accent; meaning Queens, the Bronx, Brooklyn or Staten Island. Not even an “Upper West Side” accent. Which is usually stereotyped as drawing from its deep Yiddish roots. But I also don’t even have the prep school accent associated with the white-glove all-girl academies of the Upper East Side. Think Gwyneth and Ivanka. But I do have a mastery of language and articulation that belies my roots, because I had an exceptional education at St. Hilda’s and St. Hugh’s as well as one at Harvard: both “Need-Blind” highly diverse co-educational institutions that opened my eyes to a world of injustices, only one of which was women’s inequality. And honestly in school, I didn’t really see it. Because I excelled on every academic level far beyond my fellow male classmates. That never earned me “pretty” or “popularity” award, but it also never left me feeling discriminated against as a girl. The same was true in the work force. I rose through the ranks of advertising and communications quite smoothly because of my sharp mind and unique determination to focus on Social Impact oriented efforts, including during my own diversity and Impact-lens consulting work. Long before it was “cool”. I liked being the invisible brain behind the solution.
I also was born post-Rowe. So, being a Voice for Women, seemed out of place and inauthentic. Just like I felt Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In was out of left field for the MAJORITY of women, who do not come from wealth, or have multiple Harvard Degrees or have come even remotely close to working in the hallowed C-Suites of every major tech firm in Silicon Valley.
But when the opinion from the Supreme Court to overturn Rowe was leaked, I went into a bit of a tailspin. Not because I wasn’t “expecting it” or worried about my own economic freedoms or reproductive rights per se, or even worried about New York’s commitment to those rights, but to the FUNDAMENTAL VIOLATION OF WOMEN’S PRIVACY and very capacity to live and lead her own life, unencumbered by the legacy of male demands and ownership that I suppose Alito and the other conservative majority actually believe IS SETTLED LAW because husbands owned their wives and slaves as free labor and procreation agents when the constitution was written.
Ironically, I did have my own room until about the age of 9 when my newly born younger brother joined my bunkbed. But that didn’t seem to make a difference as my privacy was rarely respected and there was no way to lock my door, even if I’d wanted to, before he moved in.
As a result, establishing my sense of personal safety, privacy and boundaries has been a major struggle since. Even moving out of my parents’ place at 17 for college followed by 2 moves further and further away weren’t clear enough messages that I wanted to be left alone, I had to LEAVE THE COUNTRY because there were still way too many people who had keys to my space (and my emotions) who used them with little to no notice, as if it were acceptable. As if, somehow, women aren’t worthy of privacy or allowed to set up clear boundaries. And even if they do, men rarely respect them. Not even when NO and STOP is made very clear. I know this personally as I’ve been raped and sexually assaulted more than once since. And then left to deal with the repercussions of HPV and morning after pills on my own.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this has got to STOP! My life, privacy, safety and freedom are more valuable TO ME than any unborn fetus OR YOUR OPINION. And so is EVERY LIVING WOMAN’S. So, get out of our rooms, our beds, our heads, and our economic freedoms.
Holly Lynch is a 20+ year communications veteran and life-long social impact advocate and strategist who has helped individuals, educational leaders, and companies tackle the toughest challenges in their worlds.
Having survived countless life setbacks and two rounds with terminal cancer, while seeing the country-wide collapse of the systems and safety nets for the most vulnerable in and outside our communities, she is now shifting her life and career trajectories to focus on coaching those facing down fundamental shifts and transitions as they try to navigate and rebuild their lives, institutions and businesses during these unprecedented times.