Downsizing to Upsize
“Big things come in small packages.”
Did your parents ever use that excuse when your brothers received a light saber, gigantic ATAT and Millennium Falcon for Christmas, or the entire Civil War militia (both sides) plus replica battlefields, while you only got a tiny box with a “precious” charm bracelet and pair of “delicate golden slippers” in it?
Mine did. And man, did I want to take a battle axe to the whole gendered Christmas nonsense. As a Tom-boy, I wanted to tackle everything with my own hands, and I was and remain a super ambitious student, I couldn’t have cared less about little boxes of expensive jewelry and handmade shoes from Italy. I wanted THE WORLD! And that world was BIG!
Coincidentally, my home growing up, apparently, had the best of everything the world could offer. I lived in New York City! I went to the Opera! I lived in a genuine and luxurious 18th century French Rococo gold leafed apartment! In the notorious Hotel Des artistes, where artists, actors and celebrities galivanted around the pool and bar at the Café Des Artistes. And Central Park was on my doorstep! I had the life you’d think most kids could only dream of. And I believed it. I mean, everyone KNOWS New York City is the Center of the Universe!
I completely own that I was never deprived of all the best things money could buy — incredible trips to Europe and the West Coast, glorious restaurants, an unprecedented education, and my own financial independence, thanks to a very progressive-thinking grandfather and great-grandfather.
The challenge was, from what I could see, all of these things didn’t really bring me or anyone around me any joy. The furniture was too delicate to sit on, there wasn’t enough room in our very large apartment to play ball, have a pet or even store all the paintings and boxes of clothing and memorabilia my parents collected. So, it all kept going into storage unit after storage unit for someone else to take ownership of and responsibility for. And whenever a discussion of the storage units came up, a very tense discussion or fight would ensue… which didn’t bode well for vacations or Christmas, because all the suitcases and Holiday decorations were down there.
Nevertheless, I followed the same pattern. I moved back to New York after Harvard. I Bought an apartment in the Same Building at 22(!!!) and started Accumulating Stuff.
And throughout all this, the voice of my father (who had grown up with nothing) kept whispering… “The problem with owning something is that you have to take care of it”. But I didn’t pay attention. 10 years later, I sold that apartment to buy a BIGGER apartment with a yard and the ensuing responsibilities of looking after it. I used the excuse that I’d throw great, big parties… which I did.
Until I learned the how BIG the world could REALLY BE — by living out of a pretty small trekking bag, strapped to my own back.
The thing about planning for a 3-week trek through New Zealand, or Slovenia, or Patagonia, is you can’t really plan at all. Mountains, weather patterns, blisters, LOUD SNORERS and FARTERS, vicious bugs, shared toilets, communal huts, no running water, or electricity, etc. means you have limited space and back strength for the long vertical climbs, so you better be ready for everything, but with minimal baggage. And I very quickly took to that style of living. With minimal baggage — physical and otherwise.
And those lessons paid off. This past November, I effortlessly packed 6 months of clothing into 1 suitcase and moved to Bermuda. And I still have enough clothing and supplies to allow me to dress differently for dinner every night, if I choose…. And I do. And It also allowed me to choose to stay both here and in that mindset.
Because, I’ve also learned that big things CAN come in small packages. They just aren’t necessarily “things”.
This year as we all contemplate shifts and priorities…What would you keep in your small bag if you could choose? And, what would you let go of?
Holly Lynch is a 20+ year communications veteran and life-long social impact advocate and strategist who has helped individuals, educational leaders, and companies tackle the toughest challenges in their worlds.
Having survived countless life setbacks and two rounds with terminal cancer, while seeing the country-wide collapse of the systems and safety nets for the most vulnerable in and outside our communities, she is now shifting her life and career trajectories to focus on coaching those facing down fundamental shifts and transitions as they try to navigate and rebuild their lives, institutions and businesses during these unprecedented times.